Imagine being trapped in a foreign land, thousands of miles away from home, with your every move watched by a distant spouse. This is the chilling reality for Kiran, one of India’s ‘abandoned brides’ caught in a harrowing Australian visa nightmare. But here’s where it gets even more shocking: her husband, despite being over 10,000 kilometers away in Brisbane, monitored her constantly through cameras installed in her in-laws’ home in northern India. 'I can always see what you do,' he would remind her, a haunting phrase that underscores the control he exerted over her life.
Kiran’s story begins in 2017 when, shortly after the birth of their first child, her husband—visiting India—had cameras placed in the kitchen, living room, and outdoor areas of their home. Two years prior, they had married in a traditional Sikh ceremony in Punjab, near the India-Pakistan border. Yet, in the eight years that followed, he visited her just four times, each stay lasting barely a month. And this is the part most people miss: Kiran’s ordeal is not unique. Thousands of Indian women are sold a dream of migrating abroad after marriage, only to find themselves trapped in a nightmare, according to Yasmin Khan, head of the Queensland-based Bangle Foundation, which supports South Asian women facing domestic abuse.
Women’s rights advocates call this phenomenon the creation of ‘abandoned brides’—women deserted by their Indian-born husbands living in countries like the UK, Australia, and Canada. But here’s where it gets controversial: some abandonments are driven by financial gain, with husbands fleeing with dowries, a practice still widespread despite being illegal in India since 1961. Others use their wives as domestic laborers for their in-laws, a situation advocates liken to modern slavery. In some cases, visa complications prevent husbands from bringing their wives abroad, leaving them stranded in limbo.
Human rights campaigners have documented cases of abandoned brides in Australia, where legal recourse is often complex and daunting. For Kiran, the promise of a shared life between India and Australia turned sour when she became pregnant. Her husband declared he would ‘never let’ her join him in Australia. ‘I realized this life was not for me,’ she says. ‘He had no interest in me. I was just brought here to take care of others.’
At 22, Kiran knew little about her husband before their wedding, but his permanent residency in Australia, white-collar job, and abstinence from alcohol made him an ideal match in her family’s eyes. However, just a month into their marriage, he returned to Australia, and his rare visits to India were marked by violent arguments. Over long-distance calls, he ordered her to obey his mother’s commands, even dictating what she cooked for his parents. ‘He would say, ‘I can see you on the camera—make sure the food is fresh for my parents,’ she recalls.
By early 2022, Kiran’s mental health was crumbling. Pressure from community elders in Punjab—an epicenter for abandoned brides—prompted her husband to bring her and their children to Australia the following year. ‘I thought God had finally listened to my prayers,’ she says. But her hope was short-lived. Upon arriving in Brisbane, she discovered he had brought her on a tourist visa, not a partner visa, which offers a pathway to permanent residency. This left her legally vulnerable, despite her children being Australian citizens.
Khan explains that Kiran’s husband’s surveillance and exploitation of her temporary visa status were forms of coercive control—issues many of the Bangle Foundation’s clients face. The organization, which relies on state support, grants, and donations, receives about 1,000 calls annually for help with domestic abuse, visa abuse, and trafficking, with 60% coming from women interstate or abroad. But here’s the real question: why do so many women hesitate to seek help? Khan points to cultural barriers, shame, and fear of explaining norms like arranged marriages to mainstream services. ‘They’re not going elsewhere because of issues of culture, tradition, shame, honor, and embarrassment,’ she says.
Kiran, still in visa limbo, fights to stay in Australia with her children, clinging to the hope they will bring her the happiness she craved from her husband. Her story is a stark reminder of the hidden struggles faced by many women, raising a thought-provoking question: How can we better support these women and dismantle the systems that trap them? Share your thoughts in the comments—let’s spark a conversation that could lead to change.
*Name has been changed for privacy.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, help is available. In Australia, call the National Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800 737 732. In the UK, contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline at 0808 2000 247 or visit Women’s Aid. In the US, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). For international resources, visit www.befrienders.org.
